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My brother Toby was always a very quiet, private person who enjoyed his own company. When not working Toby spent much of his time in his room playing computer chess. This was a game he enjoyed immensely and being highly intelligent he always won. Toby always went about his business unassumingly and respected others privacy. However Toby was always ready to help others in need, especially the older generations. He never liked anyone making a fuss of him and he never really liked hospitals or places like that.
Toby had undying loyalty and support for his family and I always looked up to him. I also admired his honesty and strong beliefs of what was right and wrong. Once I had my own place Toby would often pop round and we would chat for hours.He enjoyed helping me in the garden and did any odd jobs that needed doing. My brother was a lovely man and we had some great times when we were growing up.
On the night of the horrific R.T.A, (road traffic accident), Toby had popped out telling mum that he wouldn't be long.He wnet to the Clifton Public House and, not being a big drinker, had a half of shandy before starting the journey home. As Toby walked up Broadway, towards Tremorfa, he came to a part of the pavement that had been dug up by the council. The hole they had created covered the width of the pavement leaving no walkway.After waiting for a clearing Toby stepped off the kerb into the gutter, preparing to walk along the roadside, passing the obstruction on the pavement.
The taxi came from nowhere and Toby didn't stand a chance. He was thrown into the air and the impact left him in a critical condition. There is no way Toby would have stepped off the pavement had he seen the taxi coming. An ambulance was called which took Toby to the Cardiff Royal Infirmary. Before leaving the scene Toby had to be resussitated twice. My parents were informed by the police of the incident.
The accident left Toby, in intensive care, on a life support machine and he was not expected to survive more than 24 hours. The doctors diagnosed Toby as 'very badly brain-damaged and in a vegative state'. But my brother was a fighter and, to the amazement of the doctors, he didn't die. Within a month Toby had opened his eyes and had movement in his right hand. Also after trying Toby off the life support machine and couple of times, he was able to breath on his own. When Toby had been in hospital for 17 weeks the doctors said there was nothing more they could do for him and that it was only a matter of time. My parents then made the decision to take Toby home and care for him there. Before my brother was released the hospital trained them to feed and medicate Toby. They were also taught how to use the suction machine and nebuliser.
Once home my parents had to fight social services for a drip stand (my dad made one out of wood), hospital bed and kangaroo pump (to feed Toby through his stomach). The G.P arranged for community nurses to visit on a daily basis, to ensure all was well.
At the same time, though evidence and court proceedings, my father decided to make a claim for compensation against the taxi firm and Cardiff City Council. For 4 years my parents cared for Toby and fought Metro Taxis and the Council. Sadly my father passed away just before the claim was awarded. The court of protection became immediately involved due to the size of the award, namely £275,000.
PART 2
Whilst at home, during the first 4 years, my parents, although unqualified, cared for toby's every need. We, as his siblings, were always on hand and helped whenever needed. Each day my dad would wash and shave Toby, then he and mum would dress Toby and sit him in his 'Parker Knoll' chair. They would then be able to wheel him around the house whenever they were. My dad used to give him physio-therapy at least 3 times a week.. Toby was placed in his hoist, lowered to the floor and laid on a duvet. Dad would then exercise his feet, legs, hands, arms and head for about half an hour. Toby would then be hoisted back into bed of a couple of hours rest. In the afternoon Toby would be back in his chair until tea-time, after which dad would wash and change him ready for bed. Then he would be up bright and ready for another day. Maybe on a summers day they would take Toby to the park or out for the day. My brother, Keith, would drive them anywhere they wanted to go. On good days toby would often sit in the garden with us in the afternoon. Mum was even able to take Toby on holidays a couple of times.
After my father passed away, God rest his soul, I, mum, keith and my two sisters, Candy and Gail, worked on a rota basis to ensure Toby had 24 hour care, as we all lived close by we were able to achieve this. Everything remained the same except for toby's personal care and physio, now mum washed and shaved Toby and Gail took over the physio and lifting. The community nurses still came throughout the day but they made so many mistakes in was better and quicker to do it ourselves. One time they left a razor, with open blades, right by Toby's feet!! (Toby could move his feet).
During the 15 years at home, Toby lived among his family and friends. We all treated him with respect and as normally as we could. We chatted to him all day and made sure we involved him in family affairs. There was always something going on so Toby never felt left out or isolated. In his room Toby had his own TV and stereo, both of which he enjoyed. My mum hung mobiles above his bed which he would watch as they blew in the breeze. If Toby ever had to go to hospital, usually for chest infections, as soon as he recovered mum would take him straight home, back to his family. Mum didn't like to leave Toby in hospital for to long, not since he had fallen out of a bed in 'Llandough Hospital' once, with no explanation?! Although disabled Toby was able to live a full and stimulating life.
The medical team dealing with Toby had diagnosed him as being in a 'vegative state', I BEG TO DIFFER!! Toby was aware of his surroudings and responded when spoken to. Although Toby's speech was very limited on several different occasions Toby called out for mum, Candy and Gail. I have a video that was made to help Toby get his compensation, on it mum is asking Toby to say hello to 'Reg Talbot', the maker of the video, Toby can clearly be heard saying 'hiya'. We will be putting the video on here as soon as we work out how to transfer the, long forgotten, video tape to an ultra-modern DVD. As I pointed out before Toby was able to open and shut his eyes and look around him. As well as having movement in his feet and also had movement in his right hand and arm. Toby once reached out and took an item out of my hand, although doctors had said he was blind. On one occasion mum said that when she walked into Toby's room he was sat up with his legs hanging over the side of the bed, like he was getting up. The funniest incidents I remember was when my sister, Gail, told Toby to grab one of the community nurses around the neck (as a joke). But when she came in, Toby did just that and had her in a headlock lol, mum had to come in and tell him to let go, which he did. By the way the nurse was not harmed in any way!
Every morning when mum washed Toby he would pull the towel up over himself with his thumb and finger. Whenever we washed Toby's feet in a bowl of water he would wiggle his toes. Also when mum dressed him she would ask Toby to raise his arm, to put it into the garments sleeve, and he would! As soon as the mail arrived mum would get Toby to help her open them it. She would place his thumb and finger into the corner of the letter and ask him to open it. Although Toby found it really difficult he would help tear the envelope open. Over the years Toby became able to communicate through body language. We were able to tell what Toby wanted or if there was something wrong just by looking at him. We new what Toby wanted because we knew Toby, he was our brother and we loved him dearly. Two of the most potent incidents I remember are the times toby was told our parents had passed away. When told dad had died he visably cried in mum's arms and when informed of our mothers' death Toby put his head in the nurses lap and again wept openly. These are just a few of many interactions, over the years, that prove Toby was not in a 'vegative state' but awake, alert and aware. Do you think any of the above are the actions of a person who is 'doubly brain damaged and in a vegative state, WE THINK NOT!!!
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